Qualified Snail Mail

Booking too many meetings with the Pipeline Cloud?

Our latest innovation is designed to tank your pipeline, decimate your BDR team’s quotas, and have your CEO asking–hey, what the heck are you doing?

Get the Snail Mailer
Instead of making things way too easy on your buyers, play hard to get

You don’t want them to think you’re too available, do you? Forget the instant meeting booking capabilities and frictionless sales experience–you want ‘em to really work for it.

Send a note to our HQ for a demo*

* Please allow for 7-10 business days for shipping. VCR not included.

Snail Mail for Meetings
Book a meeting in just a few weeks, in as little as four back-and-forth correspondences

Keep your buyers on the edge of their seats–will you confirm your meeting today? Tomorrow? Next week? With Snail Mail, your buyers get to experience the joy of flipping through junk mail and bills in the hopes you finally got back to them with a meeting time.

Get the Snail MAiler

Snail mail in action

How does Snail Mail work? Simple

Download The Qualified Snail Mailer

  1. Attempt to print
  2. Argue with the printer
  3. Do that thing where you blow on the ink cartridge and hope it works
  4. Give up on the printer
  5. Find your local… Kinko’s? Do those still exist?
  6. Have them print The Qualified Snail Mailer
  7. Google where to even buy stamps
  8. Acquire your prospect’s address (Qualified Address Book available in Q4)
  9. Ask your mom how to properly address an envelope
  10. Locate an outgoing mailbox
  11. Send those bad boys out into the world
  12. Wait, like, a week or two if the weather is weird…
Get the Snail MAiler

The Qualified Snail Mailer is available in both PDF and .docx formats and integrates with all mail carriers

Snail Mail for Meetings
With Qualified Snail Mail, my team can barely get a demo booked. We’ve never been so inefficient. But it is kind of fun buying stamps again.

Victor Diamond

Print the Mailer
Locate a Post Office